My Takeaway on Taylor Swift’s ‘Miss Americana’

I watched Miss Americana, Taylor Swift’s new documentary on Netflix.

here’s my takeaway: I realized that having a voice is sacred. using your voice is a choice and with it, you need to realize the words you speak and w

rite have impact. like Taylor, I used to, and still do, write about my life in journals and diaries. it’s therapy for me and it’s allowed me to confront demons and itches and very real emotions head on, while being transparent about it all – because through reflection, I have realized we have all experienced what it feels like to be holding our breath under water. we all just want someone who can understand these incredibly deep emotions, even when it’s hard to connect or impossible to be vulnerable.

watching this documentary has really set my perspective straight; use. your. voice. whether it’s for politics, advice, opinions, poetry, or anything else, you need to express yourself. there was a part in the documentary where Taylor really wanted to vocalize her political standpoint, which is something she hadn’t done in her whole career. Taylor’s team, made up of mostly men and her father, encouraged her to stay silent. can you believe that? even a woman with so much power and knowledge and articulation was trying to be silenced. this part really spoke to me because I feel like there are so many women out there who are being discouraged from voicing how they feel or holding back from standing up for what’s right.

we should all feel empowered to be authentically ourselves and be loud about it. 

Taylor’s music has gotten me through heartbreak, happiness, and other huge moments. it reminds me of what’s real. it helps me feel less alone because someone out there, gets it. so here i am, using my voice to tell you to watch the documentary, even if you don’t like Taylor. you will learn a lot about what it’s like to be human, you will see the benefits and downsides of being completely transparent, the trials of being a woman, and what it’s like to have a voice so loud, even in a world full of clatter and noise. 

Being Alone Isn’t The Worst Thing

The other day my Co-Star app told me, “Get comfortable being alone.” and I couldn’t help but laugh. I have lived my whole life alone. Of course I have my friends and family, so i’m never lonely, but I have always been “alone” or people like to tell me i’m “free spirited”, which I think they say to make me feel better LOL

Honestly, I think there’s a stigma against aloneness. It’s not a bad thing, it’s not sad, and it can be a choice. I ALWAYS get asked, “So Katie… do you have a boyfriend yet?”

AS CRAZY AS IT SOUNDS: sometimes the journey isn’t about romantic love, sometimes it’s about healing, growth, and self-love. Figuring it out on your own. Learning to live independently. My journey looks a LOT different than everyone else’s in my life, but that’s okay.

Being alone has given me the opportunity to know myself better- I mean really peel back the layers and understand what I truly desire and believe in, and to grow into who I want to be without pressure from anyone else. It’s about learning to love yourself without relying on others to love you. I feel like I care for others better because I have learned to care for myself better. You really learn to be on your own team and to own your self-worth.

And there’s no point in being bitter about it. I have learned to have faith and trust in the universe and God, or whatever or whoever you believe in. It can be scary, the thought of being alone, but it is not the worst thing to happen to you. It never will be. You will find someone in due time, I promise. There is a whole world out there and you shouldn’t settle just because you don’t want to be alone.

So if for whatever reason you are terrified of being alone, i’m here to tell you it isn’t all that bad, coming from someone who has years of experience with it. In fact, it’s cloudless. Soak it up and take advantage of being in charge of you and only you. Get to know yourself and truly care for yourself instead of seeking that from someone else.

Being alone can be a choice, and it’s a pretty dang good one.

A Dreamer’s Dream

I often dream of myself walking through the streets of Rome, savoring the golden sunlight. I’m alone but I’m enjoying every second. My soul is restless but it is whole.

In this dream, I can taste every fruit at once, flavors taking their time to know my tongue. I breathe in bliss and exhale every moment that came before this one. I carry a journal, that is home to my thoughts about how this city carries herself with effortless beauty; chaotic but grounded.

My head never falls low. I am an explorer, never staying still, all while standing secure in inspiration. I print my lips on wine glasses and smeared ink finds it’s way on my skin from all the poems written at some cliche café. In this dream, I am out of my element and alone, but I am found.

What? Can’t a girl dream?

When You Start to Question ‘What if?’

We all want to be somewhere better than we are right now.

I’ve spent this past week livin in my head, just wondering what if.

What if I had gone away from home for college? What if I would’ve said yes to *insert something/someone here*?

What if, what if, what if?

It all started when I heard an idea this past week that all we are in the end is a story. At first, I wasn’t so sure but the more I thought about it, it made sense. So I started thinking, if my life is a story, then this is the part where everyone puts the book down. The plot has dwindled into stagnant waters, the loose ends have been knotted, and it’s predictable to see what’s ahead.

I’ve been panicking because nothing is really growing me right now. I don’t feel like I’m evolving. I was taught that if you’re not growing then you’re wilting. Is that true? I don’t know. There’s nothing really bad happening, but there’s also nothing really good. So am I wilting? Obviously I’m enjoying life but there’s nothing too exciting going on.

It’s kind of all at a standstill right now. That’s when the ‘what if’s’ come in. I can’t help but be one of those people who constantly wonder about every decision ever made, and what it could’ve lead to. But I don’t want to be that person because regret isn’t in my vocabulary– I tell myself that moment, that decision, it’s the right one no matter what because it’s the one I chose and I can’t spend my sacred time on worrying about if ‘what if?’

But I have been asking it so much recently. I’ve been wondering if I missed out on opportunities because of a certain decision. Would my life still be at this neutral, balanced place?

It’s silly to think and even sillier to complain about but it makes me feel so lost and… hopeless. I need action, I need emotion, I need to feel it all, all of the time. I’m still trying to figure everything out but I guess this is a sign. A sign that it’s time to end this chapter. To put the pen down and let life write itself a new page, a new story, with new characters and beautiful settings we’ve never explored before. There is no growth if you are comfortable, I know this. I know that I am very comfortable right now, so very content. There is nothing pushing me and there is nothing pulling me either. So I’m giving up the pen. I’m letting it all go and giving it all to the universe and hoping it takes me somewhere that will help shape me, somewhere that’s thrilling and brand new and won’t make me question the ‘what if’s?’