Taking a Break from Instagram

Long post that i’m sure no one will read or care about but it’s fine. I think about this day sometimes. I love yellow. Its happy and bright and lovely, which is exactly how I felt in this photo. I went through a dark phase for awhile- everything was in shades of blue and black and grey, like a bruise.

But then I healed and eventually started seeing yellow again and it was glorious. Now, I see in all shades of the rainbow now- baby blue, black, bright yellow, red, dark green and all that’s in between. My life is colorful and vibrant and there’s a little bit of everything and I feel it all and I love it. I’ve noticed that I’ve been thinking and feeling a lot more than usual lately- which says a lot, because i’m an empath already. Through all that thinking and feeling, I’ve come to the conclusion that i’m putting all my time and energy into the wrong things, and it’s really affecting my mood and happiness.

I’m not going to go into detail but I think that it’s best for my mental health and growth that I take a little break from Instagram. While it used to serve as my creative outlet and visual journal, I now feel like it’s a chore. It’s a reaction, to just automatically open the app and scroll. It’s just another thing that I go to when I’m bored. While I think social media is a powerful tool for so many things, that power can be good or bad. I’ve had a couple people come to me the past couple of weeks and say, “wow your life looks so fun on Insta, I wish I had it”. But it’s only one second, one moment, of a whole LIFE. a whole day. a whole memory. It only captures a little fragment of a bundle of emotions, sensations, and happenings.

I’ve always tried to portray myself as authentically as possible by opening up about my struggles with anxiety and depression. However, unfortunately I feel there will always be a barrier between you and I- between the person viewing your posts and the actual person behind the posts. Life is more than a post, we need to remind ourselves of that. There is always going to be a disconnect between words & actions/reality.

Anyways, what i’m trying to say is… i’m going to take a step back. i’m going to try to live my life without posting or scrolling everyday. I think it’s best for me and my wandering mine if my focus is elsewhere. I never have been like this never want to be that person that needs social media or needs validation from others through it. This might sound dumb and pointless and you’re like, okay katie quit being overdramatic, it’s just app.. and you’re exactly right. I’ll figure it out. Bye for now. 🖤

Taking Good Care of Yourself

It’s so important to take care of yourself. Mentally, physically, spiritually, emotionally… in every way possible. Put yourself first always. I knew that I needed to start dedicating more time to myself in order for me to finally obtain happiness.

Mentally: Every time something bad happens or something doesn’t go as planned/my way, I make sure to remind myself you can’t always control how things go but you can control your reaction to them. This has helped me tremendously. Tough times are not going to get better by you complaining about them BUT they might get better if you have a positive outlook on the situation.

Sometimes I even count to ten and just breathe. It sounds cheesy but it is so helpful. It calms your mind and your heart and resets your emotions.

Physically: Working out sounds dreadful to some people but once I get in the routine of it, I actually look forward to it. A lot of aggravation, annoyance, and negative emotions can be ran off. Not only is cardio good for your body but it is also good for your mind. Also, it’s so important to make sure you’re listening to your body and staying in tune with it. That means nourishing it with healthy foods but also knowing that eating your guilty pleasures and spoiling yourself with desserts is 100% okay in moderation. Sometimes you just need the chocolate chip cookie and that’s okay.

Spiritually: Not sure what this means for everyone else but for me, this means being totally in tune with yourself in every aspect. It means being kind to others and yourself. Loving yourself and your neighbors. Believing that this life is more than just you. This one might be the hardest to achieve.. but I promise it’s attainable and worth every second of your time and effort.

Emotionally: This is also pretty tough but, being in touch with your emotions and being able to control them is so important. Stepping outside of situations and looking at it from an objective point of view is very difficult, but I think it helps. Many times we are so emotionally invested that we forget the bigger picture and get distracted by our feelings. Remember your worth and what your end goal is.

Some other tips: Dedicate a day to yourself each week. Humans are always on the go, whether it’s school, work, kids, pets, or other priorities, we have many responsibilities that can sometimes feel heavier than we can carry. One day a week. Or even a month.

Get your favorite food for carry out. Walk your dog at the park and soak up the sun. Go see your favorite person. Travel, as much as you can. Talk to strangers. Find a cute coffee shop and go take cute photos there with your friends. Whatever it is that makes your soul shine, do it. You deserve it.

A Sestina- for my nephew

Your little hands wrap around my finger

It was then that I understood how a heart

can grow in size, even for something so little.

Outside, the sun has just risen, the beams of light

shining on your delicate face.

I softly hum lullabies to you in the quiet.

 

There was one thing that never lasts: the quiet.

So I let you suck on my finger

and even try tickling your face

Though you’re screaming, you still have my heart.

You help me remember what it feels like to feel light,

and it reminds me of when I was little.

 

When I was little,

the house was never quiet.

I decorated my room with Christmas lights

and learned math on my fingers.

I spent my days doodling flowers and hearts

and multiplication was the hardest thing I had to face.

 

There are some facts that I don’t want to face.

You will not always stay this little.

One day, someone will break your heart.

There is something to be found in the quiet.

Your mind is more valuable than your fingers.

The weight of the world is never light.

 

Though the world gets dark, you are my light.

Eventually there is always a darkness to face

that cannot be solved with fingers.

Oh, how I wish you could stay little

and remember what the world felt like quiet.

To still have a pure, untouched heart.

 

As we grow and hurt, so does our hearts.

For now, I tuck you in and turn on your night light.

We sit still, basking in the quiet

Before I leave, I notice your sweet face

and how it’s different but still little.

I already miss when your hands wrapped around my fingers.   

My Trip to Colorado – costs, travel tips, etc.

I’ve always wanted to travel. I think it’s the experience that is so alluring to me- learning new cultures, meeting new people, getting to see different environments. That’s why I always keep my eye on flights.

This year I was able to go to New York City, California, Gatlinburg, Florida, and Colorado. I made a past blog post about my trip to California and how my brother and I scored $30 round trip tickets and got to visit LA, Yosemite, Monterey, and San Francisco all within 4ish days, so go check that out!

BUT FIRST! My most recent trip, Colorado, was the most amazing experience and I want to share it with y’all so you might be able to experience it too.

We- my brother, cousin, uncle, and I- ended up getting $58 round trip tickets to Denver, CO. That is so rare. Usually, it costs about $250+ to get to Colorado so I knew this was a good deal.

FLIGHT TIPS

We flew through Frontier Airlines. I am signed up for their daily emails and they are constantly sending deals, whether it’s a set amount price one way (such as $25 to California, or $32 to Arizona) or 90% off one way, they’re cheap tickets for exciting places! Disclaimer: I’ve only flown Frontier and I have nothing but good things to say about them. I’ve always had smooth and safe flights. I do not choose my seat for the flight because that costs extra, up to $30 extra sometimes. If you book tickets together, they are usually good about seating you together, even if you don’t choose/pay to do that. Also, you are allowed one free personal item, like a backpack or purse, so that could save you $60 all together for luggage by trying to fit everything in there. Ladies, I know that sounds hard but trust me, it’s possible. I went to Cali for 4.5 days with just a backpack! (I did end up getting luggage though since I needed layers for cold Colorado). Anyways, sign up for their emails!!

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Now, this is how I like to go on vacation but you might be different than me. When I go somewhere, I want to experience and explore the city or town as much as possible. I hate sitting in one place for a long time. Beaches are beautiful but they only hold my interest for so long. I’d rather hike or go on an excursion. So, when we booked the trip, we knew that we would want to rent a car so that we could travel to as many places as possible.

Day 1 – Estes / Rocky Mountain National Park

We drove 2 hours North from where we landed and stayed in the Estes because we knew we wanted to drive through the Rocky mountains. It was beautiful and we even saw an elk! Usually this costs $25 to get into the National Park per car but we didn’t have to pay the day we went.

 

Day 2 – Breckenridge, CO

This place is apparently known for skiing. Unfortunately, I don’t know how to ski. Instead we snowmobiled! It was seriously the most fun I’ve ever had. We went through a mountain on a guided tour by Good Times Adventure and the view at the top was beautiful. This was the most expensive thing we did, $125, but it was well worth it. Breckenridge is also just a really cute town to walk around in as well.

 

Day 3 – Colorado Springs – Pikes Peak and Garden of the Gods

This was by far my favorite scenery we witnessed while in Colorado. Pikes Peak is one of the highest mountains, at 14,115ft. and driving up there takes your breath away.. and not just because of the view! It’s hard to breathe up there since it is so high up and elevated but the ride is scenic and pretty. Pictures don’t do it justice.

 

Colorado Springs is a MUST SEE. It almost looks like the rocks are professional architects. (lol what am I saying?) Balanced Rock is in Garden of the Gods too, and it is so cool to see and grab a picture. Oh, and if you’re in Colorado Springs, eat at Mountain Shadows Restaurant- it’s a cute place where locals eat but they’re known for their gigantic cinnamon rolls and Guy Fieri (I just had to google that because I always spell it Ferrari LOL) went there so that’s cool too!

 

Day 4 – Boulder Mountain Park and Denver

We saw Red Rocks Amphitheater, went to Boulder Mountain Park- which is just another scenic view of the mountains, and then headed into Denver. Downtown Denver is cool to walk around and reminds me of any other city. There are lots of shops and restaurants so you can keep busy by going there. There’s probably way more to do in Denver but it was our last night so we wanted to chill out.

 

Each night we stayed in an Airbnb – we figured this was the cheapest and cleanest route for us since we would be moving from place to place each night.

Overall, I loved every minute of it and would do it again. I definitely recommend Colorado Springs and snowmobiling- those were the highlights of the trip to me.

Hope you all enjoyed reading this and it helped you with your future travel endeavors!



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