I Find God in A Turn Signal

I find God in a turn signalI find God in a turn signal. The road is my life and He is right next to me in the passenger seat and He reminds me, “My child, this trip – it’s not going to be easy. There are going to be bumps in the road. Pot holes, even. Hills going up and down that make the butterflies in your stomach flutter. Things are going to take you by surprise – one day, a deer could very well jump out in front of you. But i’ll be here to help you. You might decide to drive at your own speed, not the speed limit, and you might lose control. But i’ll be here to help you. A flat tire is always a possibility but luckily i’ve got a spare I could lend you. It’s not going to be easy, there are so many risks. It might not always be fun but I promises to be here with you throughout it all, guiding you, and encouraging you to the next destination, exactly where you need to be, exactly when you need it.

He leads me to a stop sign after a very lengthy, exhausting, whirlwind-kind-of drive. He says to me, “Stop. Breathe. Enjoy this life I have given you, hand it over to me. Trust me to take the wheel.” At this point, I’m too drained to even argue with God. So I let go and I let God. I let Jesus take the wheel, I turn up the tunes and kick my feet back, and I breathe. And by breathe I mean, I take the biggest sigh of relief.

Life is so much better with God as my chauffeur than my passenger. Recently, God has been my passenger. He’s always been with me, He’s always been telling me which ways to go but still, i’ve always had the wheel in my hands. Things started happening at my speed, not the speed limit. I kept taking short cuts because I figured that might be easier than risking getting lost or taking too much time to get to my next destination. But God doesn’t take short cuts. He is in no rush, no hurry. He takes the long way and He enjoys every second of it. He turns the tunes up and He smiles and laughs with me the whole way there, even through the hills and bumps and potholes. He knows where He’s going and what direction we’re headed in; He does not need a GPS or a roadmap.

So let Jesus take your wheel. (Channeling my inner Carrie Underwood right now). Hand over your life to Him and let Him take control and guide you. You might want to go left sometimes because that’s the “safe” route or the “fun” route. You might want to go straight because that’s what every other car is going. But God looks at you with the biggest smirk on His face and flips on His right turn signal. And it ends up being the bumpiest road of them all. There are some hills here and there as well. However, God is on your side and He has the wheel and He’s never made a mistake before. He would never harm you or put you in a position where you could not handle it. He’s got you. He sees the worry in your eyes when He goes to make the turn and He says, “I am with you. Hold on tight. This is about to be a wild ride but it’s going to be so worth it.”

And it is a wild ride, this life of mine – but God’s right, it is SO worth it.

God is Not A Genie In A Bottle

The more I grow in Faith, the more I realize that just because something horrible or heartbreaking happens does not mean that God is mad at me or punishing me. It does not mean that He loves me any less than the next guy.

I think a lot of times people spend their time glorifying the good days – the days when the sunny rays are touching your soul in the warmest way and the edge of your smile reaches the ceiling. But I want to spend time appreciating the gloomy days as well.

Let’s put this into perspective: when was the best day of your life? Why? Whatever your reasoning, it dwindles down to God showing up that day. (Essentially because everything good comes from the Big Guy Himself). But guess what!!! God shows up everyday. He shows not only in the sunlight but also in the shadows. He is there on the days where the rain is pouring and you don’t want to leave your bed. He is there when absolutely nothing is going your way and everyone you make contact with is getting on your last nerves. He’s always there, it’s just a matter of whether we choose to see Him or not.

And if we didn’t have those moody days, then what would we think of the bright and colorful ones? If we never lost patience, we would never seek God for it. If we never had storms, we wouldn’t appreciate the sunny rays. If we never faced setbacks, we would never face comebacks. Without obstacles, there is no growth. Overcoming these barriers sometimes means stumbling. When you stumble, you either fall and give up, or you fall and get back up stronger than before. Key word: stronger. Because of that “disadvantage” of falling down, we are able to gain strength to get back up and do it all over again. Or get back up and realize that whatever it is, is not meant for you.

When you fall, reach for God’s hand. Don’t be afraid to reach for God’s hand and ask Him to guide you and give you strength to get through your trial. He already knows it all like the back of His hand. He knows what you’re thinking, what you’re going through, what you’re going to do next, so it makes it much more easier when you trust Him with your life and hand it over to Him. God knew you were going to fall – and some may bite back with, “then why didn’t he prevent that?” The truth is, God isn’t a genie in a bottle. He doesn’t grant your wishes whenever you want Him to. He also isn’t a witch. He doesn’t cast spells on you as punishment. God is your Creator. But even more importantly, He is your Father. He cares for you and gives you exactly what you need in order to become the person He wants you to be, in His perfect timing. That’s right, HIS. Not yours. Not your significant others. Not your parents. Not anyone else’s but His. He knows us better than we know ourselves and He wants whats best for us, always. He never has turned His back on us. He definitely does not sit back and love to watch us struggle. It hurts Him a million times more when we hurt. so trust Him.

God is preparing you for something greater than you could ever anticipate. This trial you may be going through is just a stepping stone to exactly where you are meant to be. This heartache, failure, discouragement, barrier, whatever you are going through, is going to be SO worth it. You can’t have a testimony without a test. I encourage whoever is reading this to truly believe this, to remember that God is not the bad guy, He is our best friend and He cares for our well being and success immensely. Seek God in your struggle. When you find it hardest to trust God is when you need Him in your life the most.

Romans 8:18 “I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed to us.”

 

 

For Extroverted Hearts

I’ve got this really big, extroverted heart (I get it from my momma). It’s almost as if my heart is out in the open for everyone to have a piece of, for everyone to be apart of. My heart sees someone aching and naturally wants to comfort them. My heart reaches for people everyday and entangles them with love and peace in the most genuine way.

The only problem with a heart like mine is, people are not fragile. They’re not gentle. They take a piece and they don’t properly care for it. They break it, drop it, walk all over it. They use a piece of me without giving anything back in place of it. It’s what us humans do naturally. Nobody is to blame, I’m guilty for it as well.

I’ve been praying that I find a way to keep my heart out in the open without feeling as broken and empty as I do. I’ve prayed that my heart doesn’t end up caged up behind locked doors and a million security forces to get through.

But then I remember, God gave me this really loud heart for a reason. Nobody is perfect, everybody is a little lost – including me. We’re all broken and searching for our missing pieces – and I don’t know about you but I’ve got about a million I could go try and find right now.

Thankfully, God fills those missing pieces. He makes my heart whole despite all of the brokenness and mess. God gives and gives and I take and take, yet He loves me despite my lack of giving back. He keeps providing anyways. So for now, I’ll take comfort in Him. I’ll keep reminding myself that His heart is much louder than mine, a whole lot bigger, and a lot more out in the open for people to take and break and be apart of, than mine is and ever will be – yet He still prepares us, produces for us, and is passionate for us.

Our God is a very giving God and we must never forget that.

The Reason Why I Write

I write to spill the contents of my heart and mind in a way that only makes sense in words. To express my deepest worries and anxieties and to show the world what fear and emotion really, truly look like down to their very core. To be raw and vulnerable in the most naked way without having to face anyone else but myself. To give someone an idea of what the weather looks like in my head on that day – some days it’s bright and sunny, some days it’s the gloomiest and most treacherous storm you’d ever experience. Whatever season I’m in, I usually have something to say about it.

I write because each word that flows through to my fingertips is just another way of getting to know myself better. The words sit here and stare at me asking, “how are you doing?”, “is this ACTUALLY how you feel?” when nobody else does and then they form together like the most comforting being and they wrap me in the warmest embrace.

I write to find relief. I’m like the fizz that bubbles up when you crack open a soda. My feelings sit inside a pop can. I bottle my emotions up inside for the most part, and then when it’s too much, one little jiggle or distress, and I explode. I find solace in my writing. There’s just something about the soothing moment of slowly pouring your feelings out rather than having them explode all over and create an even bigger mess.

I have journals from every single year growing up. There is about thirteen journals on my shelf right now and a majority of them are filled front to back. I talk about everything under the sun –  from playing outside with the neighbors, to the boy I had a crush on in second grade, to why I hated my brothers when I was eleven years old, to when I first started experiencing God in the purest and most beautiful way. Each journal has a different journey – a different self discovery and a new story to tell.

I appreciate looking back and reading those entries but I’ve come to the realization that without God, my writing is hollow and cold blooded. It whines, complains, and brings out the darkest parts of me that I don’t really like to see- the ones hiding deep down, that nobody ever wants to share. However, when I write centered on God, it’s like coming home after an exhausting, soul-sucking day and stripping off everything. Getting into a shower before it heats up so the cold water sends chills down my spine. The water pours down on me until it finally gets warm and it beats down on me like an everlasting waterfall. Collapsing onto my warm and comfy bed and it welcomes me as if it knew I needed it. Taking a deep breath in, a deep breath out, and remembering that everything is not as bad as it seems.

God is the backbone of my writing. He is the one I need to get me through my days- the draining ones, the rejuvenating ones and the in-the-middle ones. He awakens my soul in my treacherous storms and reminds me that He is guiding me through the rain and thunder. He has a hand on my shoulder with every word that pours from me. He is the air inside my lungs and exactly what I need.

Without God, I would never have anything to write about.