“I don’t know where I’m going, but I’m on my way.”
My first year at college is officially over and I couldn’t be more blessed with how it went. Going into this year, I was incredibly anxious for how it would go. I thought about how coursework was going to be more challenging, I would no longer know everyone in my classes, and how everyone is seeking different paths yet I had no idea what mine was. College is definitely scary and intimidating, especially when you feel unprepared and lost.
But I will say this: I still don’t really know where I’m going but I’ve finally found my way to the said path. That’s something, at least. I’ve learned that it’s okay to not know where you’re going, as long as you’re being led by someone you fully trust.
The more I put my life into God’s hands, the more safe, happier, and less anxious I feel. Because of this, even though the coursework this year has been more challenging, with time management, new found motivation, and lots of effort and hard work, I was able to handle it all gracefully and on time. With a 3.7 GPA, might I add. (Sorry for the bragging, it’s not like me, but I’m proud of myself.)
And even though every face was one I hadn’t seen before, I made some really amazing friends in my classes. Every class that I took, I met numerous people who have impacted my life for the better and I could be my most authentic self around without fear or worry. You meet the most interesting people when you have an open mind and a full heart towards others.
(I think that walking into a classroom full of faces you’ve never seen is a lot less intimidating when you realize they’re all just as scared and lost as you- well, most of them anyways.)
I know now that you do not have to be loud to be heard. Writing creates tsunamis in eyes and hurricanes in hearts and that is why it is my power. It is my voice. Without living through this year, breathing and writing through the ups and downs and all that’s in between, I never would have found that or known that.
Every step that led me up to this point was purposeful. From an on-going fight with depression, to new friendships, to rejection, to a purposeful and everlasting love. I’ve never been more confident in trusting the unknown before, until now.
This journey is not over, it is never over. But this is the beginning. And I cannot be more excited for my next steps forward.