Nowadays, it’s so easy to fall into a hole of nitpicking little things about yourself or finding flaws within yourself. We focus on our insecurities and become incredibly blinded by them, preventing us from seeing our true beauty.
You do it. I do it. We all do this. I remember when I used to cry my eyes out because I hated how I looked. There was nothing more I wanted than to lose weight because I thought if I’m skinnier, then I’ll like myself more and so will others. So, I’ve been there. I know what it feels like to feel like nothing and hate what you see when you look in the mirror.
But, what if I told you that the negative things we tell ourselves, the little flaws we critique everyday, is all incredibly wrong? Seriously. We are all so wrong and mean about how we see ourselves and naturally, we don’t give ourselves enough credit. We are so much more than we think we are.
Now, don’t get me wrong, loving yourself is the hardest thing you will probably ever have to do. It requires a lot of dedication, effort, and positive influences. It doesn’t happen overnight and it definitely will not be smooth-sailing, but believe me when I tell you: it will be worth it.
No worries though, you don’t have to figure it all out on your own, because I’m going to give you some steps that will get us on track to look in the mirror and smile, love our flaws, our insecurities, our curves, our wrinkles, our acne, every bit of us.
1. Compliment yourself
Look in the mirror everyday and find a new thing to compliment yourself about. Even if it’s just something little like, “oh my eyes are extra blue today” or “wow I’m looking good in this outfit”. I know I know, it sounds silly but saying something as ‘silly’ as those comments might be the only positive thing you tell yourself all day. So make yourself do it. Find the beauty within yourself instead of picking out something you don’t like.
There’s going to be days where you feel completely gross, your hair is not cooperating and your stomach might be loaded (ladies, you know what I’m talking about), but i’m here to tell you that’s perfectly normal and okay. Find something little anyways. Your optimism and positivity about how you look will reflect greatly on how you feel about yourself.
2. Surround yourself with positive influences
You would not believe how big of an impact the people you surround yourself with have on you. However they treat you is going to make you feel like their actions towards you is what you’re worth. In other words: if they don’t make time for you, if the relationship or friendship is one sided, if they aren’t there for you when you need them to be, this is going to make you feel worthless. But you’re not. You’re the furthest thing from worthless so do yourself a favor and walk away. Someone who sees who you really are and recognizes your beauty will make time for you, go the extra mile for you, and drop everything to be by your side when you need them to be.
Don’t waste your time or tear yourself down because someone else is blind.
3. Don’t put your worth into others
This is something I ALWAYS used to do. Sometimes I still do but I’m so much better about it because I’ve learned that it doesn’t matter what other people think. If someone has something negative or critical to say about you, odds are they are upset with themselves and are trying to bring you down to their level. Don’t let them. You’re better than that. Their opinion of you does not, BY ANY MEANS, reflect who you are.
4. KNOW YOUR WORTH.
I’M SHOUTING BECAUSE THIS IS IMPORTANT. You were designed specifically and strategically. Every little detail about you is unique and makes up who you are. Isn’t that like, the coolest thing you’ve ever heard? Nobody else on this Earth is exactly like you. From your taste in music, movies, books to your religion and beliefs to your features and characteristics. You are the only version of you, which makes you incredibly RARE.
You are a rare, one-of-a-kind, priceless, BEAUTIFUL human being and you need to remember that. Everyday.
5. Do what YOU want to do
I feel like many people feel they need to have a certain body type, take interest in certain things, or have a certain hair color. No. You do not need to be skinny to be beautiful. You don’t need to look a certain way to be able to love yourself. You’re perfect the way you are, right in this moment.
But I will say this: if you don’t like your tummy because it is ‘too pudgy’ (I promise you it’s not), then work out. If you want to eat a whole pizza and then go out for ice cream, please do it. If you don’t like your blonde hair because you like yourself better as a brunette, then dye your hair! If you want to learn how to knit because you think it’s interesting, then learn how to knit.
WHO CARES WHAT OTHERS SAY? You need to do what you want to do because it’s YOUR life.
6. Do something everyday that makes you happy
Life is too short to mope around. If you do one little thing a do that makes you smile, eventually it becomes your lifestyle. Care for yourself by doing things you care about. You’re not selfish, you’re not silly. You have to be happy with yourself before you share that joy with anyone else.
7. Spread kindness
If you were wearing your favorite outfit and you were feeling yourself, wouldn’t you want someone to tell you?
Be understanding. Forgive. Be kind to others because you’ll never get a bad reaction from complimenting someone. You might make their whole entire day. They might make yours. Even just shooting a smile at a stranger could go a long way. Nonetheless, it’s a win.
8. Forgive yourself
This is so important because if you’ve done something in the past that has completely influenced your life and how you view yourself, then chances are, you let your past control you. Don’t. It’s in the past for a reason and you’ve changed into a completely different person since then. You’ve learned lessons, made mistakes, and have grown tremendously. Who you are then is not who you are now. Move forward and leave that baggage in the past, where it belongs.
Seriously, you are so great. There are so many admirable things about you and I wish you saw them. I know it’s so cheesy and difficult to hear nice things being said about you and actually listening to them, but people wouldn’t say those things to you if it weren’t true. So know this:
There is nothing wrong with who you are or what you look like. You are your home, your best friend, and your number one supporter. So treat yourself right. Be kind to yourself, eat the donut, run the mile, ignore the jealous pessimists, smile at the stranger.
Which of these points do you think you most struggle with? What steps will you take to loving yourself and becoming more comfortable in your own skin?
Leave a comment below or feel free to message me and tell me what you think.
Thanks for reading loves .x