There’s nothing more compelling and intriguing to me than a human who walks into the room with confidence radiating off of them like a sun beam. I am in awe at the people that have these booming voices that bounce throughout the room and make their words flow like a beautiful river and somehow sound like Shakespeare wrote their daily dialogue. And the ones who let people see who they really are without shame or worry- who share about themselves without any fear of being too much.
I want to be able to walk into a crowded room, stand in front of everyone and in a mountain-moving voice say, “This is who I am,” and not worry about if he approves or if she doesn’t like my outfit or if my hair is messed up or if they all want to laugh at me to my face or behind my back. I want to roar with grace because this is who I am and there is nothing wrong with it.
As each day passes by and I go from class to class, I truly am having the most enjoyable time getting to know different people just by noticing and listening. It’s the little things that add up to make you who you are. Like if your backpack is your most prized possession because it reminds you of innocence and hard work. If you love the smell of brownies because it reminds you of your mom and the feeling of excitement as you heard the oven timer ding. If your sole desire in life is to travel abroad with just a backpack and a little bit of cash. I’ve been learning that these things matter and even though they seem quiet and unnoticed, they are loud and luring and say a whole lot about who you are.
And I think that knowing that each sea of people I come across consists of humans that have their own stories- their own embarrassing antics, their own childhood memories. It makes me feel like maybe I shouldn’t take myself too seriously. These humans are broken and bruised and lost and confused, just as I. We are all just aching to be seen or heard or loved or noticed. You are all just dancing along to the same old tune as me.
Walking into a room full of beating eyes comes across as a lot less scary when you realize you’re walking into a room full of good, crooked people who when it comes down to it, really just desire the same things as you.
I don’t think I’ll ever be the person that walks into the room and turns heads. I don’t think I’ll ever be the person that people look at and NEED to get to know. I’m not the one noticed but rather the one who notices. But I am slowly learning that I don’t need to have a striking voice to let people know who I am. I don’t need to be the one who turns heads to rumble with grace and interest. There is not a set formula for how to be unapologetically you and it’s important to know that being bold does not always mean being loud.
I’ll be the first to admit that I am a little bent. I do not sound eloquent or polished when I speak and I will probably always go to the back of the class to observe and listen rather than participate and express. But I think that’s okay.
Because if we didn’t have the quiet and bold then we would not have the radiant and brave.