The Desire to Know

I am too full of life to do anything with half the passion.

I walked into a church that I don’t normally go to today and an abundant amount of people came up and kindly welcomed me. And I just found myself wanting to know about these strangers. I wanted to know where they first learned how to ride a bike and what kind of music they listen to and if they also felt like the moon followed them in the car rides home when they were little. More than anything else, I want to know about their stories – the things that make up who they are. I swear I can’t walk into a room without taking a look at every single person and wondering how their hearts are doing at that very moment.

Often times I walk into rooms filled with people and I just feel so overwhelmed. With joy. And interest. And the need to know everyone in the room. I genuinely just find people so intriguing. Maybe this comes off as a little nosy but I swear I’m just curious and in love with the way humans are so messy and intricate and beautiful all in one. My soul just has this attraction to wanting to truly see people for who they are, to want to know what their biggest fear is and why they bite their nails when they’re nervous. They could be this great, big, jumbled-up, confused, disaster of a person and I would still be blinded by the little light within them.  (Everyone has the light too, which is my favorite thing to look for when I’m checking out these people because I always find it. )

We have all been through our own battles and I’m sure we all have wounds to prove it – some fresher than others. I know I do. Tragic things happen to us. And in the moment, whatever it may be, it is extremely heart-wrenching and unfathomable and you might even lose all hope of life getting better. However, these things pass and shape you into who you are. They become apart of your story and there’s no choice but to either dwell in it or let yourself grow from it. These things make you alive and wise and twisted and a little bit beaten – but never defeated.

I think that’s why I love getting to know people so much – because they let me see parts of them that aren’t all that delightful and I still think they’re so lovely. And I get that some people are more closed off than others, I understand that I’m never going to get the opportunity to know everyone, but I still wish that I could just get a glimpse at their soft heart and tell them that they are loved and have this fire within them that nobody could put out. I wish I could tell them that the weight of the world on their shoulders is very much indeed overwhelming but this is just another chapter in their story. I want them to know that sometimes getting out of bed and facing the reality of everything is a tremendous accomplishment.

I guess what I’m trying to say here is, I don’t think I’ll ever be a ‘small-talk’ person. I will always be the person to have hope in an expiring situation. I will always be the one who is wanting more, needing more, because my curious heart needs to be fed somehow. I want to know you and I want to know about what makes you feel appreciated and what you feel your purpose on Earth is and all the ins and outs of what makes you, you. I want to know about the things you cannot put into words on a screen, the things that make you feel alive, how you became so wise, if you’re Team Edward or Team Jacob or Team Twilight Is Incredibly Cheesy and Overrated.

That is just who I am.

(Sooooo, if you read this, first of all, thank you, and want to tell me any of these things or if you honestly just want to be friends, message me. DM me. Email me. Comment. Or don’t. Either way, I think you’re INCREDIBLY awesome because I know you’ve probably been through something and you’re still fighting, bruised and all, and I am so proud of you for that.)

Published by Katie

in love with words & this life of mine.

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